060501

My friend Montie Sims
by Joe Barton

I have known Montie Sims for a number of years and consider him a friend. I've been keeping tabs on his recovery like a lot of you, from his April 9, 2006 accident, BUT now that we know he's OK I have some unanswered questions about the accident!

Is it a coincidence that SuperMan is the opposite of Montie Sims?
Superman jumps INTO the sky, Montie falls OUT OF the sky.
Superman is stronger than a locomotive and Montie Sims drives them.
Should we send cards, flowers, or a new cape to Montie?
Just how aerodynamically shaped is Montie Sims?
How high can a Montie Sims bounce if dropped from 60 feet?
Does Homeowners or Car Insurance cover being hit by a Montie Sims?
If a bolt of lightening hitting the ground digs a 3 ft. deep hole, how deep is the hole a Montie Sims digs?
Did anyone see the impact area? Were all the trees blown down radiating away from the impact area like the "Tunguska Comet Impact"?
Will staying inside during a predicted Montie Sims fall protect one from possible harm? Probably not. Tests have shown that dropping 200lb. from 60 ft. will kill most life-forms.
Will a person's hair stand on end just prior to a Montie Sims strike?
It's my understanding that this was a strike out of the "blue", and not associated with any storm front however, can doppler radar predict a potential Sims strike?
Unlike lightning, which heats up the air causing a shockwave radiating away from the strike path, is a falling Montie is a silent killer?
If we see a falling Montie can we divide the time it takes for us the hear the impact by 4.5 sec. to determine the distance to the impact site?
Could the incident actually have been some sort of initiation into a secret demonic railroad cult similar to Skull and Bones?
Is it true that the operating instructions call for two pints of oil and six gallons of gas for the engine...plus, two six packs of beer for the driver to build up enough courage to take off?

and finally....
Is this grounds for a divorce? After all anyone who rides in a lawn chair powered by an egg beater is not all there!

Love ya, man. Get well soon

Could
it
be
that
Montie
Sims
is actually
from
an
alternative
parallel
dimension
?

WHICH ONE IS THE REAL MONTIE SIMS?

WHICH ONE IS THE REAL MONTIE SIMSMOBILE?

MONTIE'S NEXT ADVENTURE?